Bobbie Pyron: Octopus Moon (Childhood Depression)

Nancy Paulsen Books, Mar 25, 2025

I am a person who, like many, has battled the insidious mental illness of depression my whole life.

I was depressed even as a young child. I rarely slept. I was obsessed with death. At age five, I was certain my beloved beagle was dying, simply because his nose was dry. At age six, I woke my parents in the wee hours with this question: “Will everyone else die when I die?”

This was the early 60’s. No one talked about mental illness. And the idea of a child having chronic depression—inconceivable! I was labeled “overly sensitive,” “moody,” and “shy.” As a kid, I withdrew into books and fantasy worlds I created in my imagination. My teen years were a hot mess. I was well into my twenties before I finally got the help I needed.

My passion for books and story led to a long career as a librarian. Connecting kids with just the right book was incredibly rewarding.

One day, on a children’s librarian list-serve, someone asked, “Are there any middle grade novels where the main character struggles with depression?” Hmmm.. What about…? Nope, the father is depressed in that book. Well, surely in… Nope, it’s the mother/sister/brother battling depression. When I ranted about this to a dear librarian friend, she said, “Maybe you need to write that book.”

I gnawed on that bone for a while. Did I have the ability as a writer to authentically show what living with depression is like? Was I brave enough? Strong enough to open that vein and bleed onto paper?

Later, after having success as a middle grade author, I decided I was ready to write the book my ten-year-old self had desperately needed. That book became Octopus Moon.

The story follows ten-year-old Pearl’s journey from crippling depression to understanding and hope. Like me, Pearl has battled depression from a young age. She’s been able to keep her depression and anxiety at bay by running, skateboarding, and spending time with her BFFs, Rosie and Mia.

Pearl’s mother works at the aquarium in their Florida town. In the aquarium, Pearl especially loves the loggerhead sea turtles with their wise eyes and huge, tough shells. Like the turtles, Pearl has a tough outer shell protecting her.

Until the summer before fifth grade.

Friendships she’s always depended on, change.

Her older sister becomes distant.

Having to remember locker combinations and class schedules overwhelms her.

None of her coping mechanisms work. The riptide of depression pulls her away from her safe shore. She loses her tough shell. And like the octopus in the aquarium with millions of touch receptors on their arms, Pearl feels everything. There is nothing between her and the confusion and suffering in the world. Pearl withdraws from her friends and family.

Have you ever looked up from the bottom of a swimming pool? You can see light and life above you, but you are separate from it. That’s what depression does. It separates you from life and light. And, like a vampire, it sucks all hope from you.

In Octopus Moon, I give Pearl things I didn’t have as a depressed child. I give her a supportive family, steadfast friends, and a wonderful therapist. And, ultimately, I give her hope.

I won’t lie: there were many times writing Pearl’s story was hard. I had to revisit painful feelings from my childhood. I had to lean deeply into what depression feels like. I had to face old fears and conjure up new ones.

But this is the book I so needed as a child. Octopus Moon would have made me feel less lonely. It would have made me feel seen and understood.

If my book helps just one reader struggling with a mental illness, or helps others understand what living with this mental illness is like, it will have been worth it.

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Bobbie Pyron

Bobbie Pyron (she/her) has worked in libraries and bookstores in North Carolina, Tennessee, and Utah and has been active in local animal rescue work for many years. She’s the author of A Pup Called Trouble, A Dog’s Way Home, and Stay. Bobbie lives in Ashville, NC, with her husband, Todd, and their dogs, Barney and Piper. Visit her at www.bobbiepyron.com.