Molly Harris: I Need Space (SEL, SPD)
I was lying in my son’s bed one night, talking to him about a problem he was having. He’d always looked forward to preschool – great teachers, great friends, great activities, great food. But something was off lately. All we knew was that he suddenly stressed out in the mornings, and burned out in the evenings.
After a few weeks of this, we found out what it was: He was dealing with another child at school whose enthusiasm was a bit much for our son. Our son was no shrinking violet – he loved running and laughing and playing–but this other kid came on very strong. They were louder, rougher, and more in-your-face than our son had ever dealt with, and it was bringing up some confusing and stressful feelings. This was a friend … but … since when did friends make him feel bad inside?
“How about next time, you let them know, ‘Hey, I need some space right now,’ and go somewhere a little quieter?” I suggested. “It’s always okay to take space if you need it.”
As I said it, I watched nebula move across the ceiling from a star projector in the room. I was lying on a duvet covered in planets, with my head propped up on a pillow shaped like a rocket ship. This boy loved space. He’d even had a space-themed birthday party that year.
Surely… someone has written a picture book about needing space… set in space? I thought.
Because that’s what I always do when I’m helping my children through their trials and tribulations: I reach for books. To my great surprise, there were no space-themed personal space books out there, and so I jumped on the opportunity to write it myself. But most of the time, there is a story already on bookshelves, ready and waiting to connect me and my kids.
Connection is one of the most important aspects of picture books to me. It’s what truly sets them apart from text-heavy books. In my house, when we read picture books, we sit close together, one child in my lap, the other leaning against my arm. My voice is close to their ears, their fingers on the pages. Sometimes Mummy reads; sometimes Daddy does. Sometimes the kids choose the stories; sometimes we do. Sometimes our house guests get the special honor. Sometimes it’s a new story we’ve never read before; sometimes it’s the millionth time and we’ve memorized all the rhymes.
Contrast this to when I read a novel just for grown-up me: sitting in a quiet room, or driving alone in a car. Reading is a solitary activity for most of our lives. But when we’re young, it’s the total opposite. Young kids can turn the pages and look at the pictures themselves, but they need someone to walk them through the words.
This is why I think social-emotional learning stories have so much value. Feelings are a really hard thing to understand by yourself. They’re these invisible forces that we can sort of control, but not really, and they influence absolutely everything, for better and for worse: how we talk, how we listen, how we move, how we sleep. But through creative storytelling and talented artists, we picture book creators get to make feelings a tangible thing, to help kids grasp what’s going on inside of them and make sense of it. Once you can name a feeling, once you can make it a little more visible, you can figure out what to do with it. Each of my books so far as aimed to do this:
- Feeling overwhelmed and burned out? Make like a dirty sponge and give yourself some TLC (The Big Squeeze)
- Mind buzzing with too many thoughts at night? Make like a robot and recharge your batteries (Whirby)
- Getting super frustrated with your friends? Make like a rocket ship and take some space (I Need Space)
My goal is never to tell a kid what to do in writing these. It’s to offer a conversation starter for the families reading them. What are the signs that you need space? How can you take care of yourself? Is there anything mom and dad can do to help you charge your batteries tonight?
There has been a lot of conversation lately around what a book for kids should be. But what about what a picture book gets to be? It gets to be a shared moment between the child and the reader. It gets to be an excuse to get down to their level, touch base on what’s going on in their lives, and reassure them that they are not alone.
In due time, they’ll be stringing together words and sentences all on their own. In the meantime, I just want to soak up the connection of storytime.
MOLLY HARRIS is the author of picture books The Big Squeeze, Whirby, and I Need Space.
She is a technical writer by trade who enjoys world traveling and working on too many
projects at once. Originally from Massachusetts, she now lives in
Ireland with her husband and two sons. Visit her at
JON CORBY is an illustrator and children’s book designer. He earned
his BFA in illustration from Syracuse University and is currently based in Pennsylvania. I
Need Space is his debut picture book. Learn more about his work at JonCorbyArt.com.
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